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"Self images are just images—ideas—but they can have a powerful impact on our lives and on our happiness. They can limit us by limiting what we are open to. If some activity doesn’t fit our self image, then we don’t do it. If we can’t see ourselves doing something, then we don’t do it. This is fine in many cases, but there are times when doing something that doesn’t fit our self image is exactly what we need to do to be happy or to learn something or to grow. Because we are creatures of habit and don’t easily take on new self images, we often choose to be true to our self image rather than stretch ourselves and experience something new.
Part of the difficulty is that we don’t even see that we have a self image. We have many self images, really. Different ones show up, depending on what we are doing and who we are with: Around our kids, the image of the parent we think we are shows up; around our spouse, the image of the spouse we think we are shows up; around our employer, the image of the employee we think we are shows up. Around one person, we pull out one self image, and around another, we pull out a different one. We like to be around people who bring out a self image we like, and we don’t like being around people who bring out a self image we don’t like.
The truth is that we have so many self images we can’t even keep track of them. They show up and disappear as quickly as a thought. So, as important as our self image is to our happiness, it’s really nothing more than a thought that is constantly changing and often inconsistent from one moment to the next: One moment we are the good parent and the next moment we are the terrible parent.
Most of our self images aren’t useful because they are narrow and limiting and because they aren’t true. They are caricatures of ourselves that leave out what is most important—our true nature. A true self image would be true from one moment to the next. It would be good for all occasions, for every moment. The only self image that can live up to this is one that resembles your true self—one that exemplifies the qualities of essence."
As Borderlines we either have a negative self image of ourselves or No self Image at all, we often do not know who we are or what we want, We struggle to find meaning and purpose in Life. It is a constant battle for reason and direction, I myself relate to the above article as It is a perfect picture of How I feel inside of my very warped soul sometimes, actually Often times. I struggle to work through the Garbage that my mind tries to convince me of and find out who I truly am, what I really want, and what direction is best for my Life and Well Being. This is a battle for me and I find that it only gets harder with Time, I have many self images as It talks about above and no one is ever the same as another. I have the Multiple sexuality images, the way the world views me and the way I view myself, they say that we all are our own toughest critic, This is especially true with me, I always am so hard on myself even when there is no reason to be and when nobody else is hard on me. The Chaos that plagues my soul is a War, a battle to the finish. Finding myself will be a Lifelong effort and I intend to continue at It, I like who I am somedays and then others I do not, I Want to always like myself and in fact love myself but It is progress, Not perfection after all.
So The question "Who am I ?" is a difficult one for me, because it is so rapidly changing, it is difficult to find the true me within, But I do not give up Hope. The pain inside of me is caused by many different reasons, bad situations I go through, lost dreams, a sheltered childhood, and much more but Most of all it is Caused by My Self Image of Myself and how I believe the outside World views me inside and out which has a Lot to do with the causes of My Pain and Negativity.
If you have difficulty imagining that you are all of the good qualities
of essence, then just pretend. Try on this very positive self image for
size. If you hold this positive image long enough in your mind, your
behavior will begin to reflect those qualities. Pretend that you
believe you are lovable, loving, kind, and accepting, and soon you will
start behaving that way. If you don’t believe this, then try out the
opposite: See yourself as mean, angry, unfriendly, critical, and you
will soon start behaving that way. Energy follows thought. You become
what you believe about yourself. For example, if you believe yourself
to be capable, you will naturally prove it; and if you believe yourself
to be incapable, you will be discouraged before you even try.
It may not Work But anything and everything is Worth a Shot !
R.C.
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